A Dash of Hope

Todays start

Wise women and men talk of gratitude as the foundation of contentment and that has been true for me. What often comes up short for me in my daily spiritual practice is having hope for people who suffer, (me being the main person in that focus) and sometimes when I am especially dramatic, for the big wide churning planet. Alone with my thoughts I can write gratitude lists and repeat as needed the uplifting experiences and humans I am grateful for. I find I need to catch hopeful energy from nature and others as my brain is wired towards seeing things dimly at times.

All the cliches apply, when I am in the moment with dogs, cats, (all animals except insects) babies, wittnessing acts of great kindness and sacrifice, all these things are hope filled and make me smile and want to grasp more. Every day I try to see all the good that is around me and touch the edges of anything I can believe in.

Yesterday I took a huge risk and read things I wrote to others in a writing group, live, with eyes watching and pens flying. It felt like being undressed in a cold examining room, waiting for a new physician to enter and start poking. Will she be cool and kind? Am I in fact dying? Lets say it was way squirmy, anxiety laden and funny thing, I had PAID for this experience.

So, it was OK, it was hopeful in a way I’ve not felt in a long time, not because everyone liked or even understood my writing, but because we all took the leap of vulnerability together. Everyone shared and everyone was open to each other in person. No holding back. Wow! So my thoughts are I want small doses of this so I can keep going, one little glacial step at a time.

Hope feels like risk and risk is one of the only things I have right now. Guess I’ve no choice but to choose my risks, and re adjust and keep going.

Keep writing.